Coping With Failure

Another seeming paradox of life - failure. On the one hand, failure causes distress which, in turn, causes more failure. As failures mount up a person tends to become discouraged and cynical - traits which promote even more failure. On the other hand, failure is the only sure route to success. This may sound contradictory, but it is not. The key lies in how a person copes with failure. Attitude and perspective makes all the difference between failure leading to either more failure or eventual success.

Thomas Edison was fond of telling people how he failed his way to success. He tried over a thousand elements and their combinations before discovering the combination that worked. What separates people like Edison from the masses is summed up in these three statements:

1) He believed he would succeed,
2) He was persistent, and would not quit, and
3) He learned from each failure, and succeeded by the process of elimination.

Instead of accepting failure as a personal defeat as most people are wont to do, success-oriented people consider failure as an opportunity to learn which should be embraced. Failure presents us with opportunities to learn and gain wisdom and experience. And these are the traits for success.

If you doubt the validity of this, ask yourself how you ever learned to do anything. You weren't born knowing how to walk, talk, or ride a bicycle. You learned by "trial and error". Eventually, through failures, learning and wisdom you have become (presumably) a relative expert in such things. Superstars like Michael Jordan became exceptional because they practiced more intently, and focused long and hard on every failure, learning all they could. They believe, they persist and they learn from their failures. You, to, can become one of the "greats" in your chosen field if you simply apply these same three traits with as much passion.

Not all failure is beneficial, however. There are some "automatic failure mechanisms" (AFM's) that many people are prone to, which should be identified and then avoided. Each of these is a personal failure which we, ourselves, create, and they are not conducive to success. Compare yourself with these AFM's and honestly ask yourself if any applies to you. Once you isolate those that affect you, you can then take steps to replace that AFM with a positive trait.

NOTE: any one of these failure mechanisms can, and will, destroy all hopes for true success. Eliminate them from your life right now!

Automatic Failure Mechanisms

1) Procrastination. The #1 destroyer of success

2) Negative Attitudes and Beliefs. Tie for the #1 spot for guaranteed failure.

3) Lack of Determination. Success requires drive and dedication.

4) Lack of Persistence. Success is the result of a long process. Persistence is the key to finishing the race.

5) Lack of Effort. Nothing works until you do.

6) Lack of Self-Discipline. You must be willing to sacrifice those things that would keep you from your goals.

7) Fear of Failure. Actually, an ego that fears shame and embarrassment. There is no shame in honest effort, regardless of the outcome.

8) Fear of Success. Actually, fear of the responsibility of success, or the fear of being incapable of maintaining it - becoming a "has-been" - so the person settles for being a "never was".

9) Overcaution. Truly a lack of confidence.

10) Inability to make a decision. Not making a decision is a decision unto itself. Since a decision must be made (even the decision not to make a decision), why not try for a good one?

Once you have identified which, if any of these are culprits in your life, simply replace them with the opposite traits.